And here I am. Ready to tell my dirty little secret.
I have an auto immune disease.
Some of you know this.
Some of you know that I just don't eat gluten anymore because "I have stomach problems," but my diagnosis is Ulcerative Colitis.
(You've probably heard of Crohn's disease...mine is similar, but a little different.)
I didn't always suffer from its symptoms (but as I understand it, it's always there, just laying dormant/in remission.)
My sweet darling boys both sent me into a flair up of the disease during their births and my postpartum recovery, stress, and not sleeping through the night.
Stress is a HUGE hindrance to me feeling well.
Sometimes I feel like a SUPER lazy mom. Especially when I was raising Sam (the first born) I felt like I just couldn't get my act together. It wasn't until my pregnancy with my second born that I started to take my situation a little more seriously. Partly because my doctors wanted to put me on lots of expensive medications for the rest of my life, partly because I was tired of taking the medications and the various routes they entered my body, and partly because they were SOOOO expensive. I was not ok with paying over $100 a month for medication that was only somewhat relieving my symptoms and that I was told I would need to take FOR-EV-ER. (Sandlot, anybody?)
So I started researching and trying different things. Especially when my gastroenterologist tried to scare me by telling me my unborn child was not going to absorb nutrients and could die. Thanks a lot, guy. Luckily, my OB settled me down, assuring me that he was being, shall we say, dramatic!!!
So here I am.
Trying to figure out my life with this disease that I've only recently come to terms with. It took me awhile to absorb the words "chronic disease." I still believe in a God who is bigger than anything chronic and I pray for healing daily.
He has answered a short-term prayer because I have been off gluten for several months now and taking smaller doses of one of my medicines and have stopped taking the other one. I think I am in remission and feel stronger than I have in quite a while.
I still struggle with feeling like a lazy mama. I still feel guilty when I utilize my mom and MIL to watch my kids while I have a day off. But I have to remind myself that rest is SUPER important for healing and that I can't be a good mama if I'm always feeling sick.
Thank you for listening to my tale. It may be one you never wanted to know, but I feel auto immune diseases are becoming so common and that we need to start speaking out and sharing so that we can all feel more peace on a daily basis.
Striving to serve The Prince of Peace,
Mary
P.S. Any other autoimmune sufferers out there!?