i like doughnuts

I haven't been inspired to write about motherhood very much lately.  I thought I would be busting at the seams to blog about all things pregnancy for the second time, but I haven't. 

There is one thing that keeps coming back to mind though, so I figured I should share it with you because I'm probably not the only one who has felt this way.

I hate getting "fat" while I'm pregnant.
I loathe watching the numbers on the scale climb higher and higher.
And I can't stand that it bothers me.

It shouldn't, right?  I mean, there's a person growing inside of me!  But it still doesn't stop me from thinking those thoughts!

But for me, it isn't simply 'thin' that I care about.  Yes, I miss my early-twenties metabolism that allowed me to consume half a dozen chocolate glazed Krispy Kremes without batting an eye lash...

But more than that, I miss FEELING healthy!  Going to the gym was an activity in college.  My husband and I use to jog together in the evenings for fun!  Now instead of putting on running shorts in the evening, I usually tuck in my toddler and have my lounge pants on by 8:00pm.

But let's not throw in the towel on our healthy bodies.  Let's keep trying to take care of them even as we creep into our late twenties, our thirties, and beyond.  Let's dust off our treadmills and wash off our fruits and veggies.  Let's resolve to lift some free weights while we watch our evening television shows! 

And let's also always cut ourselves some slack, remembering that we do lead different lives than our younger selves did!  It's ok to indulge now and again, but maybe not all the doughnuts!

six things to avoid saying/asking to a new mom {and our upcoming family of four}

I've been recalling a lot of old memories of having a newborn lately.  In part because a billion women I know are popping them out left and right, but also in part because I decided to join them. 
Suprise!
We're expecting our second baby this coming May!

 

 

In honor of this exciting news, I'd like to give you a slightly sarcastic, possibly too blunt list of things new moms don't want to hear or be asked.

1. Is he sleeping ok?
   Um, no, he's a newborn.  He's up every couple hours and we're both exhausted, but thanks for reminding me.  Instead consider asking how long his stretches of sleep are and then encourage the mom that it is a great number no matter what it is.
2. Is he a good baby?
   What does that even mean?  If he's not good does that mean he's bad?  Does God make bad babies?  If I answer no, will you go trade him out for a good one?  I hear you only have 90 days with a gift receipt.  How about commenting about how calm and sweet he is being and if you could come over again another day and take him for a walk (then you can judge for yourself if he's a good baby.)
3. You look tired.  Are you getting enough sleep?
   No, I'm probably not.  I have a newborn, remember?  You're welcome to come hold my sweet kid for a couple of hours while I take a nap.  Except no mom will come out and say that, so you should offer to do it.  And don't be vague and ask about coming over sometime...ask if you can come over tomorrow at 2pm.
4. Enjoy this time, they grow up so fast, they'll be in college before you know it.
   I'm 100% sure you are right.  But right now these past 2 hours have been exhausting and he doesn't look any bigger and he's been crying for 30 minutes.  It's ok if I occasionally wish him a little older.  Maybe you should recall to yourself how it feels like yesterday that your kids were this little and you remember how it can sometimes feel like the days drag on forever.
5. You just wait until he starts doing this or that, it is so much funnier/cuter/better than what he is doing now. 
   Ok, so maybe you don't say it quite like that, but that's how we hear it.  Be nice, our hormones are wacky and we're still not confident we're not screwing it up.  Instead try to be in the moment with me.  I haven't experienced a messy blowout yet, so let me tell my story without you one-upping me about the bigger and better blowout your child once had.  Make me feel like my kid is the coolest thing since sliced bread.
6. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help you.
   Look, I'm not going to do that.  Not only am I exhausted and barely hanging on for dear life, I would also feel rude and weird calling you up to ask you to come load my dishwasher.  Please just take the initiative (if your offer was serious) and do it.  Call ME and ask if now would be an ok time to come vacuum.  We'd love to just answer the phone and say, yes, now would be a good time, thank you!

I could probably keep going.  And I kind of wish I could keep going for at least four more to have nice round list of ten, but six will have to do for now.  And it should be noted that I'm totally guilty of some of these myself, but it's a good reminder for all of us.  Being a mom is hard.  Living on little sleep is the worst.  Hopefully you enjoyed it and were reminded a little too.  

Have a great weekend.
Love,
Mary

Our 'Ready to Pop' baby shower for under $100

I had a blast planning my friend's baby shower.  I'm a sucker for a fun theme and really enjoyed thinking up fun ways to incorporate our "pop" theme.  What made the challenge even more fun (and challenging) was having to stick to a budget.  (Unfortunately 'stay-at-home-mom, though having a great benefits package, has pretty poor pay!)

There were two of us giving the baby shower and we each agreed that we could contribute $50 which gave us a grand total of $100.  As far as I know, that's not a huge baby shower budget, but we're thrifty girls.  We'd make it work! 

...and we did!  ...and it was a hit!  ...and I'd like to share it with you!

Here are the basics of a baby shower: 1. guest list 2. venue 3. invites 4. decor 5. games 6. prizes 7. food 8. favors

1.  I left the guest list up to my guest of honor.  Our shower was one of three that were being thrown for her and including the two hosts and guest of honor, the list totaled thirty.  Of the thirty, thirteen ended up coming and it was a great size.  (Obviously this was $0, total-$0)

2.  Because the majority of our guests would be traveling from the same area, we ended up choosing to throw the party at one of the campuses of my friend's church that was close to them.  ($0, total= $0)

3. I put my graphic design skills to good use and designed a postcard invitation that I printed on my home printer.  The postcard included all the important info and barely took any of our funds.  Our guest of honor had a friend hand deliver several of the invites at her church which cut down on the already minimal  postage cost of 32 cents/card (postcard stamps are now 33 cents, by the way!) ($10 for stamps, paper & printing, total=$10)


4.  We tried to think 'sweet & simple' with the decor.  Our plan was to string balloons from the ceiling alternating in yellow and silver/grey, but as with most grand plans, we ran out of time to accomplish that and opted for balloons on the floor, which besides being a tripping-hazard for pregnant ladies, worked out just fine.  My co-host also made an awesome banner that read, "Molly's ready to pop."  It looked awesome above our food table which was draped with a yellow cloth.  Believe it or not, that was it, but it was just enough.  We accomplished our goal of 'sweet & simple.' ($10 for banner making paper and balloons, total=$20)

5.  Baby shower games.  Just reading those words makes some of you cringe!  I was determined to bring games that were fun, easy, and didn't make our guests roll their eyes!  We chose to do 3 games.

The first game (which was really an 'activity') took place when the guests arrived.  There were diapers laid out and sharpies to decorate them for our guest-of-honor to use during those late night diaper changes.  (Our mama brought about 15 from a pack of diapers she'd already received.)  Guests enjoyed being creative and writing funny/clever things on the diapers!

The second game was a twist on a game that is a party favorite among my friends.  It goes by different names--we called it Fish Bowl.  Here's how to play:

Fish Bowl {Baby Edition}
Baby-related words are in "the fish bowl". One team then selects a player to describe each slip in turn, while they guess what the slip says. They receive a point for each slip they get correctly. You cannot skip slips. A timer is set for one minute, at the end, the teams switch. This continues until all the slips have been correctly guessed. Next, the slips are put back in, but this time people can only act it out (not speaking). Finally, they are put back in and the individual trying to give away what they are can only say two words.

The third game was played while guests were eating and socializing.  It was a great way to do another game without making everyone stop and be quiet.  I'll call it, "Diaper Bag Game."  I filled Molly's diaper bag with a bunch of baby things from my own house (nail clippers, rubber duck, Vaseline, diaper, wipes, comb, etc.) and gave each guest 20 seconds to feel around in the bag and try to figure out what the items were.  Then, they were given time to try to write down and remember what was in the bag.  The person who got the most number of items correct wins!  An optional rule (which I put in because sometimes people are VERY competitive) is to award one point for each correct item and subtract one point for each item a guest wrote down that was not in the bag.

Since I used baby items I already owned, diapers Molly had already received, and my own old paper and printer there wasn't any cost for these games. ($0, total=$20)

6. When people hear that there are games at a baby shower, they know to expect prizes too!  Just like our 'sweet & simple' decor, we didn't get crazy with game prizes either (after all, people come to showers to give, not receive.)  We stuck with our pop theme and let winners choose from a bag containing Pop Rocks and Ring Pops.  It seems kind of silly for grown women, but they seemed really nostalgic about Pop Rocks and excited to share their ring pops with their kids at home!  We awarded prizes to each winning team member from "Fish Bowl" and to the top 3 winners of the diaper bag game. ($6, total=$26)

7.  The food at this party was a little more tricky than other parties I've thrown.  Our mama-to-be has Celiac Disease which meant that we could not have any gluten (wheat, oats, & barely) at the party.  Our food included POPCORN (you know, stickin' with the theme), chips and dip, gluten free pretzels, a fruit salad, a veggie tray, and our sweet item was gluten free chocolate chip cookies.  Our mama requested not to have too much sweet stuff at the party, so cookies were a great choice.  Our food was served with yellow napkins and plates.

We had pitchers of water and lemonade to drink.  The yellow lemonade looked great with our yellow and grey color scheme.  Our co-host brought along a stack of clear cups from her house and some forks for the fruit salad. ($52*, total=$78)

8. Every good baby shower is made complete with a cute party favor in which your guest will remember your party!  My co-host and I came up with this cute Blow Pop idea (with the help of Pinterest.)  We made the circles, stamped them with our pregnant lady, added a circle that read, "Molly's Ready to Pop," punched threading holes, and threaded a Blow Pop through the tag.  I was super please with the final result. ($3, total=$81)


There you have it.  A baby shower for under $100 that was super fun to throw and (I hope) also fun to attend!  We had plenty of food, fun, and favors to go around!

I hope you have fun planning your next baby shower! *The price for food will obviously be higher depending on how many guests you have, but keep in mind that people don't come expecting a meal and you have $19 extra dollars in your budget to cover the cost of extra food!

Sammy's Birth Story

It has been 9 and a half months since Sam came into the world--a perfect time as any to document Sammy's birth story.  So, here goes!
(WARNING:  This story is really long.  I didn't try to shorten it, because, well, I want to remember it!)

Friday:  Here I am on December 30th--my due date (Friday, 40 weeks.)  Notice something?  That's right, I'm not at the hospital...I'm at home, in my gym shorts, taking pictures, NOT in labor.  Fast forward to Monday at my 'baby doctor' appointment where I am still showing very few signs of labor.  My very kind doctor tells me if I don't go into labor before Wednesday, then he will induce me Wednesday night.  I am happy to finally have a definite time to get this baby out.

Wednesday night:  I still had not had anything close to labor pains.  And once I finally did realize what a contraction felt like, I knew I had only had a few in the past week--like maybe three.  Lee J & I eat some dinner, (what will turn out to be the only solid food I have until Saturday!) calmly pack our bag into the car and head to the hospital to be admitted and induced.  I check in and get settled into my room.  The nurse checks me to see if I'm dilated and notices my blood pressure is a little high.  My doctor comes in about 9:00pm and separates the membrane that connects the amniotic sac to the wall of the uterus (strips the membranes) in hopes to begin labor.  And the only thing that happens is my blood pressure continues to be a little high and labor does not begin.  I am started on a slow Pitocin drip--a small amount.  And oh yeah, my contractions are now present, but pathetically tiny.

Thursday morning:  My doctor revisits me in the morning and breaks my water.  Because my blood pressure remains high, they decide to put me on a magnesium drip.  Had I known the ramifications of that, I would have begged and pleaded they not use it.  "Mag" (Magnesium) is a soft muscle relaxer and from this point until delivery, I had to have a catheter.  YUCK!

So just to be clear.  At this point, I am now in a hospital gown with a central line IV in my arm pumping me with "Pit" and "Mag."  I have two monitors on my gigantic belly monitoring the fetal heart beat and the contractions.  I also have a blood pressure cuff on my arm automatically taking my BP every 30 minutes and a catheter taped down my leg.  I pretty much look like Frankenstein(ish).

 My birth plan is not going as planned, but we're just rollin' with it.  By now my contractions are moderate but the Mag and Pit are doing a decent job cancelling each other out and nothing much is changing.  The nurse increases the Pit and it actually starts making the contractions become smaller, rather than larger.  My body is just really not wanting to have this baby yet!!!

Thursday evening:  The push and pull of the Mag and Pit have finally made some progress on the contractions and my blood pressure is being managed well, too.  However, the pain is increasing more and more.  Due to all the aforementioned things attached to me, I am not able to do much of anything to work through the pain on my own.  I request an epidural.

The downside of being at a teaching hospital is I allowed a student to administer my epidural.  She didn't get it on the first try--and I swear I heard the needle scraping on my vertebrae.  It was slightly horrible, but once it was in place, life was good.

Thursday night: The night was long, but I was able to get more sleep than I did Wednesday night because I had gotten use to my environment.  The hard part was the continuous BP monitoring and now, I had the added bonus of med students doing "Mag" tests every few hours.  However, sometime during the middle of my foggy, hazy night, I began writhing in pain from back labor.  My favorite person in the hospital, the anesthesiologist, came to relieve the pain I was having in my back.  I don't remember what it felt like, but I remember it felt awful.  I was moaning and groaning and I think I was scaring Lee J a little bit.  It was not fun.

Friday morning:  This day was just a continuation of waiting and trying to get dilated to the full 10 cm.  Each time they increased my Pitocin drip my contractions would become erratic.  I would have crazy-big contractions close together and then they would spread out and get smaller.  I really had the nurses stumped!  During this time, I wanted to give my family something excited to think about since they had been waiting patiently in the lobby for the large majority of this time.  We announced the name of our baby which we had previously kept private: Samuel James--they were thrilled to have a name to begin praying over as we all eagerly awaited our son's arrival.

Friday afternoon:  By this point things were starting to get exciting.  My doctor had come to check on me a few times and I am dilating more and more.  At about 4:30 I am told it is time to push.  I have been easing up on the epidural a little and can feel the contractions pretty well.  I push and push.  And at one point I remember telling the nurse that I am done and that I don't want to do it anymore.  I am mostly serious.  But, alas, I continue to push.  This is largely in part because the nurse agrees to get me a Popsicle as soon as he comes out.  All I have eaten since Wednesday evening is ice chips and a Popsicle sounds like fine dining to me!

Friday evening:  During the pushing my nurse says she can see his hair!  And she lets Lee J touch his little folded ear!  (She offers me a mirror and I politely decline!)  A few more pushes and an hour and a half later and Sammy J breathes his first breath at 5:56pm!  I get to hold him for a little bit and then they take him to clean him off, weigh him, stamp his feet, take his blood, poke him, and prod him.  They have to monitor him a little bit closer because of me being on the magnesium drip.  Thankfully, everything checks out just fine!  Eight pounds, five ounces, twenty one and a half inches long.  Perfect.  Thank you, Jesus.  Our family is one larger.

I'm considering writing my next post on what happens next--that is if I can get permission from my husband to tell his side of the story!
Here it is!

Dear Still-in-the-Belly Baby Mama

Dear Still-in-the-Belly Baby Mama,

I'm writing you to tell you a few things--things I wish I'd realized during pregnancy or even before so that I would have been ready and more aware as my body slowly began to resemble the body of Violet Beauregarde.

The first thing is this:  Your body will never actually resemble anything close to Violet's, no matter how much you think it does when you look in the mirror.  In fact, even though it seems to be trendy to have a 'baby bump' and you can feel LOTS of changes in your body, in reality, your body looks relatively unchanged...at least for your first trimester and even into the second one.  I've heard that after your first kid, you start showing much sooner, but I'm sure that I could have concealed my belly very easy for a long time if I wasn't so excited about having a 'bump' and didn't feel so bloated and not like myself.

Still-in-the-Belly Baby Mama, you might find yourself gravitating to the internet to look up every strange thing happening with your body. Be careful, mama.  Don't let the Devil get a foothold on you by filling you with fear.  The internet can be helpful, but it can also fill you with unnecessary anxiety.  It can also cause you to play a comparison game with other mamas.  You're an awesome mama--and you're the best mama for your child!  Avoid being dragged down the road of comparison and being beat up along the way.

Still-in-the-Belly Baby Mama, this is a hard tip, but it's one I will try to follow more next time.

Don't eat for two!  [gasp] I know, I know!  But it's true.  

Here's a quick calorie lesson.  Pregnant mamas need about 500 extra calories.  So if you're like me and couldn't keep up any cardio during the nauseous first trimester and didn't resume once you stoped being nauseous, you shouldn't continue eating like an exercising person AND add 500 additional calories.  If you find yourself constantly hungry, look at your calories.  Are they mainly made up of junk?  Or are they high protein, vitamin rich foods?  Think carrot sticks, peanut butter, and meat.  You're post-baby hips will thank me because, believe it or not, that's not your baby asking for a dozen doughnuts.

Still-in-the-Belly Baby Mama, have you noticed that your emotions have gone hay wire!?  This aspect of pregnancy was one of the most crazy for me!  I would get offended about the smallest things and when the Wendy's employee put mayonnaise on my sandwich and I didn't notice until a few minutes down the road, I burst into sobs.  Really!?  Yeah, really.  Remember to cut people some slack and, if you're able, remind yourself that it's probably not as big of a deal as it feels like to you.

And don't forget to enjoy every moment you can before your life changes dramatically!  You're going to be a great mama--even if you feel like you have no idea what you're doing.  Don't worry, most all of us feel that way!

Love,
Mary

my bags are packed and i'm ready to go

Well with FOUR ladies I know having babies this November, I thought it seemed appropriate for me to recount my days in the hospital and the first few days postpartum.  Well, not the days, so much, as the STUFF I used during those days.

With out further ado, here are two lists.
Things marked with an asterisk (*) are those items which I did not bring/have, but will bring or have ready next time!

for the hospital

• chapstick
• hair ties 
• sweatpants/t-shirt/flip-flops (going home outfit for your not-yet-normal body)
• an extra bag for all the things the hospital sends home
• a "going home" outfit for baby (a warm one!)
• a laptop for music/social media/entertainment (Netflix)
• hairbrush (and other toiletries, though my hospital provided the basic ones--you may want your own)
• breath mints
• food for hubby (or 'coach'...you can't eat, but your spouse needs to so he can be strong for you!)
• Depends adult diapers or large-super heavy flow pads* (in case you haven't been informed, there's a lot of blood during and after--a lot)
• nursing sleep bra (next time I will probably bring a nursing tank instead)
• button down flannel shirt for me, the mama, for convenient nursing and modest visitations*
• Boppy pillow* (...meant to, but forgot...it wasn't a must-have, though)
• a baby blanket!*
• a fun baby hat* (yes, the hospital provides a hat, but I wish I had pictures with a cute hat)
• a fun blanket for me, the mama, so that I don't feel so hospital-y and exposed in my gown*
• possibly a robe* (I could take it or leave it, but most people take it!)

My hospital provided a baby shirt, baby hat, baby blanket (not to keep), diapers, wipes, tiny baby bath, Vaseline, nursing pads, Lanolin cream, a manual breast pump, Sitz bath, squirt bottles, ice packs, mesh panties (ask for extra, esp. if you have a c-section, so I'm told), and socks (along with more stuff I'm sure I'm not remembering).

for the master bathroom

• towels that are not your fancy ones--a stack of them
• a nail or hook in the wall to hang aforementioned Sitz bath bag!
• witch hazel pads 
• the Sitz bath you brought from the hospital
• the squirt bottle you brought from the hospital
• flushable wipes
• more giant pads or Depends and then eventually long panty liners
• good quality toilet paper

Childbirth can be a bit traumatic for your body (go figure!) and pushing a baby out of it, leaves it a bit of a mess.  The better you take care of business, the quicker you heal and the faster you get back to feeling like you.  Do your Sitz bath!  You'll thank me later.

What other things did you find to be "must haves" at the hospital?

We're praying for you Kelly, Sarah, Christina, & Meagan!  Good luck next month!

Peace Out, Yo!

I was in my first trimester about 16 months ago and yet it feels like years!  I hardly remember it until friends ask me to recall details.  Do you remember your early days?

Did you pour over pregnancy books allowing yourself to read the scary things that could happy to your pea-sized baby?  I did my best to keep it balanced, but lets be real, for most of us, we worry A LOT until the first 12 weeks have past.  Even then, until we feel the baby swimming around on a regular basis, the fear quickly creeps in.  It's a daily battle to stop.

 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?  Matthew 6:27

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:7

In my most resent season of life {parenthood} the Lord has been daily teaching me peace.  Peace that no matter what happens, it's ok.  It will be ok.  Our great Father in Heaven sees it all before it has even happened.  And He's been through it all.  He can relate to your feelings.  He watched his Son die so He can cry with you if you need to cry.  And when you first hear your baby's heart beating inside your womb, He can rejoice with you.  He watched His baby grow inside of Mary; He can relate.  So let's turn over our worry to the Lord and instead embrace God's peace.

And when all other foods sound disgusting or make you feel not-so-good, try coke and potatoes--it worked for me.  What foods have helped you make it through the sick times?  What scriptures have brought you through the worrisome times?

Dear Plan-Making Mama

Dear Plan-Making Mama,

Before we became mamas, we had these things called 'plans.'  I've learned through the years that the Lord usually gets a good chuckle when He hears them and that plans rarely go as planned.  For some reason in my naiveté, I thought my plans would suddenly start working perfectly since I planned them for my child.

I bet you've made some plans of your own.  If you're like me, the minute you insisted on seeing the baby's gender at 20 weeks (or for some of you, sooner), you've been making plans.  You already had established a plan for what you would and wouldn't eat while growing a human.  You began researching and putting together your "birthing plan," and you more than likely planned how cute your baby's nursery would be and added a few coats of paint to the walls.

In addition to those plans, I also decided to throw in two more:
Breastfeeding and cloth diapering (cloth diapering is pretty ok).

Breastfeeding was going decent, though I was aware my child wasn't gaining weight as rapidly as his buddies.  But still, I continued on with my plan--after all, my plan was to BF for six months and then add solid food and continue BFing for a year, and by-golly, I was sticking to it!

Plan-Making Mama, be careful.  You might think your plan is awesome, but be careful.  With my plan-blinders on, I continued nursing exclusively.  When my son's weight was below average at his four month check up, I plowed on, vowing to add in some pumping and nurse more frequently in order to help pack on some pounds and ounces.

Unfortunately, my plan didn't work.  My boy became increasingly more irritable which I thought was just teething pain and tummy pain--as it turns out, he wasn't getting enough calories in the day.  The recent night-waking I attributed to teething, was actually cries for calories.

Plan-Making Mama, my heart hurts.  I thought my plans were the best, but they were not.  My sweet boy has been getting supplemental formula for a week now and has gotten so much happier.  While this wasn't the way I had planned things, I am confident it IS what is best for my baby.

Plan-Making Mama, don't be afraid (or too stubborn) to change your plan.  After all, plans rarely go as planned.  Remember that two hour nap you had planned for your baby to take this afternoon?  See what I mean?

Have you had any failed plans, Plan-Making Mama?

Love,
Mary

Before Birth

Here's what I advise for all pregnant first time mommas. 
Before the baby arrives do everything on the following list at least once--and really appreciate it:
1. go to a sit down restaurant
2. go see a movie
3. spend a whole day just watching tv with your spouse, only getting up to eat food and potty
4. throw a party with all your friends
5. stay up late and sleep in late

Why you ask?  Because for my foreseeable future these things will not be happening easily.  Breastfeeding, while being very cost-effective, easy to prep, and fun for baby and momma, does attach you to your baby.  Yes, emotionally which is great...but also physically, which is great but also prevents the above list from being easy to accomplish.  (Obviously if you are a pro at pumping and are awesome at hauling around a pump, or if you're using formula, you will not find some of those things a challenge.)

Also, "sleep while you can" is not really helpful advice.  A modified piece of advise would be to really appreciate the sleep you're getting, because soon a tiny and adorable siren will awaken you at all hours of the night.

Something else that I wish I would have done more is read a little less about pregnancy and child birth and a lot more about what baby will need when s/he arrives.  There aren't that many things you can screw up if you're having a typical pregnancy--and while you should be prepared for delivery and informed about decisions that you'll need to make or that may be made for you--at the end of it all you have a baby.  That's right, out of seemingly thin air (yeah, right) the nurse hands over to you a helpless human being whose only form of communicating with you is crying--and it's now your responsibility to keep it alive and thriving.

Now in the midst of trying to become an expert nurser, sleep whisperer, soother, and playmate, all while recovering from child birth and functioning on random chunks of sleep, you also have to squeeze in time to scour books and websites trying to answer baby questions you never knew you would have.  So my advise, read up while the only distractions you have are ones you're use to and the occasional kicks coming from inside your belly.