a talk with my baby

As you may have read, I'm not really breastfeeding my baby anymore.  I am still nursing him "recreationaly" (a term coined by a family member...meaning just for fun/bonding, but we both know he ain't gettin' anything.)  I plan to stop nursing him on Monday just so that I can say I nursed him for 4 months.  (Isn't it ridiculous that I feel like I even need to be able to say that!?)  We're still going to pump after that, but my only goal is to feed him.


So I had a talk with him about it. 
And this is how it went.
(In this conversation, both parties were voiced by me, but I could tell what he was thinking, so it was basically like my 3 and a half month old was talking.)

Me: Hey buddy, I'm sorry it's not working out this time.

S: [smiles]

Me:  I know if I put a lot of time and effort into it, we could probably make it work, but honestly, I don't want to.  I don't want you to scream and be frustrated as you try to re-learn the correct way to nurse and I don't want to have to hear you scream and have your brother hear you scream, too.  And also, it's going to be really hard to pump all the time and power pump and take care of you and your brother.

S: [kicks his feet and smiles some more]

Me: Baby, I'm sorry you're not going to be EBF (exclusively breastfed) or that I'm not going to EP (exclusively pump) for you.  But I promise I'm going to EF you.  (My own abbreviation...EXCLUSIVELY FEED.)

S: It's fine, Mom.  I love you and I love to eat. 
I really don't care if it's pumped or powdered or straight from you, I just want to eat.

Me: [smiles and tears up a little]

S: Mom, you're doing your best and you're the best mom God could have picked out for me.  Thank you.  Oh and I love you.

Me: I love you, too, precious boy.  Thanks for being flexible.

S: No prob, Mom. [spits up a little]

Hope you enjoyed this.  It's a "conversation" I have to play over and over to myself to help me remember that babies don't have expectations.  They just want to eat.  Fo' real.
Love,
Mary