i'd prefer you read this like a rap, not a poem. thanks.

Giggles and laughter fill the air,
Drool on my shirt, I don't care.
So glad we're not where we once were,
Where days and nights were one horrible blur.
You screamed and cried and I did too,
But no matter what, I always love you.
I praise the Lord we've passed through the crazy,
As it turns out, you're one precious baby.
I'll throw you on my hip and we'll go out to play, 
I'm thankful to God for this brand new day.

Dear Overly-Opinionated Mama, (part 2)

Dear Overly-Opinionated Mama,

I wrote you a little note recently that might have made you mad, or it might have made you think.  Or maybe you didn't even read it. (Here it is, if that is the case.)  I just wanted to share a little follow up to let you know what I think...hopefully not in an OVERLY opinionated way, but in just a sharing and caring kind of way.

I hope to hit the major points that I have found to be hugely controversial throughout parents that I've encountered either on the web or in real life.  Ready?  Here we go.

Breastfeeding.  Yay or nay?  

Yay.  I believe in the benefits of it and hope to be an encouragement to others who want to try.  However, I also believe that some mamas just don't have the lifestyle to support it and it is more stress and guilt for the mama than it is a benefit for the baby.  So if it works, great...stick with it for more than a month if you can...and if it doesn't work out, that's fine too.  One mom isn't better than another because of it.

Co-sleeping.  Yay or nay?
Yay and nay.  HA!  I remember those sleepy, hazy first days with my baby.  And if you're able to nurse in the night, it's pretty easy to start co-sleeping, because who wants to be moving so much in the middle of the night!?  Not me.  However, as it turns out, our kiddo was a SUPER loud sleeper.  He was getting way more sleep than mama, so we transitioned him into his room about 4 weeks in so we could get some sleep!

I'm hesitant to support co-sleeping when it involves promoting snacking all through the night or when it extends for several months or years.  I am not a supporter of "the family bed."  Call me crazy, but my bed is for me and my husband.  It's good for our marriage and establishing limits with our kids.

Baby-wearing.  Yay or nay?

Yay.  I love it in theory and I tried to do it a lot.  However, I feel like I actually didn't do it that much with my first due to sleep-deprivation and being so sore all the time.  My back couldn't handle it.  My sister swears by the Ergo carrier.  I used two different carriers.  I will probably try to borrow her Ergo a little bit next time!  However, the free hand baby carrier was fantastic because it was well supportive like the Ergo, but allowed baby to sit in a comfortable forward-facing position!  That's so hard to find, as most carriers just end up letting baby hang off the front of mama.  This one got baby in a bit of a seated position!  (Baby can face mama, face out, and even go on mama's back with this carrier!  Very versatile.)

And of course, who doesn't love a good Moby wrap.  Lots of fabric, lots of wrapping, but allowed me to feel like my baby was very secure and is great for little snugly babies.  I've heard good things about the ka'tan carrier, but haven't tried it!

Pacifiers.  Yay or nay?
Yay.  Or more like, heck yeah!  The only thing we chose not to do is go back in his room and put it back in his mouth when he was little bitty.  If it helped him fall asleep, great.  But we didn't want to train him that when it came out, mom and dad came back in the room.  We wanted to encourage sleeping independently.  (That's not to say there weren't times we did anything and everything just to help him sleep!!!)  My little man didn't seem to have any probably nursing because of the paci and the benefit I found was when he just wanted to nurse to stay asleep I could swap in the paci and put him down to sleep instead of allowing him to sleep-nurse.

Cloth diapering. Yay or nay?
Yay...I guess.  We have cloth diapers.  We use them sometimes.  But we usually go in phases.   We'll do disposable for a month or two and then do cloth for a month or two.  I guess, maybe sadly, we don't do it for the environment, but more so just to save money.  So every time I use them I am saving money, but I don't stress if we use disposables for awhile.  I really don't think one is better parenting choice than the other...just maybe more economical.

CIO.  Yay or nay?
Yay.  While the cry-it-out method can be heart-breaking at times.  I disagree with those who argue babies don't cry unless they need something.  Well, I guess I only sort of disagree.  Sometimes babies just cry because they are TIRED (or over-tired) and I think it's important that they learn how to settle themselves down and go to sleep on their own.  I like sleep.  I like being able to have a break from my child.  I like teaching my child self-sufficiency and independence.

Scheduling.  Yay or nay?
Yay.  I think what I've learned from having a tiny baby that has grown in to a "big boy" is that in the beginning it's a little more easy to be flexible.  Babies have so many growth spurts and it's hard to schedule feedings when your little one wants to eat ravenously all the time.  But once he's grown up a little bit he likes knowing what's coming.

When I worked with toddlers in a child care center for almost 3 years, I found that they LOVED knowing what was coming next.  Kids expect routines and knowing what's coming next helps them feel like they have a little control in their life (which is a major thing when a kiddo turns two.)

Plus, let's be real, I'm a planner like my mom.  I like knowing I will have a predictable break in my day where I will be able to get things done that I can't do while caring for a child--or sometimes just take a nap!

___________________________________________________________________________________

Did I cover all the major ones?  I know you may not care about my opinions, but I think it's important to realize that some moms can value attachment-parent stances as well as the opposite.  We don't all have to be extremest when raising children.  A lot of things won't irreparably damage your child.

I think one of the biggest things to remember when parenting is whether or not you've prayed about it.  God was a dad, too.  He may not have had to figure out sleep-scheduling with His baby, Jesus, but He knows how you feel.  Jesus experienced real human emotion.  He struggled in every way.  He is SUPER wise.

Do not worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7 NLT

Love,
Mary

Dear Overly-Opinionated Mama,

Dear Overly-Opinionated Mama,

I'm going to do my best to keep my cool while I compose this letter, because I know, at times, all of us mamas can be overly-opinionated about one thing or another.

However, over the past year and a half of parenting my dear one, you have gotten on my nerves a time or two.  Sorry, but it's the truth.  And I'm writing you this letter just in case you don't realize what you're doing to me and other moms.

You're hurting us with your super strong, often narrow view of how a mama should raise her baby.
You make us feel inadequate.
You make us feel like we're doing it wrong.
You make us feel like we're going to irreparably screw up our off spring.

I know that you have articles to back up your perspective on parenting.  It's been made clear that you think letting a baby cry it out will screw them up in the long run.   It's no secret that you think breastfeeding is the best feeding (and you're right, but sometimes some moms don't or can't breastfeed and they are still great mamas.)

And what about those of you who are in the opposing camp to the attachment parents?  You don't even get a name!  Not fair!  I suppose you could be called "Baby Wise" mamas, or "Detachment Parents" but that definitely doesn't sound fair to you!  You can be present and active in your child's life with out sharing a bed with them. (That's not to say we didn't share a bed a time or two when I was so tired and just wanted SLEEEEP!  **See diagram below.)

Before I go off on too many tangents, I just want to say this: be nice, overly-opinionated mama!

The crash course on becoming a mom (that starts the day you give birth) is hard enough without your opinions making us feel lousy.

Overly-opinionated mama, I think it's important for you to remember that for every article you have read, there's another article disputing it.  For every experience you've had, someone else has had the opposite.  So just chill, ok.  If someone asks you directly for your opinion, give it.  If they don't, keep calm and remember we're all still learning what works best for our own family--it is probably different than what works best with your family.

Overly-opinionated mama, can we still be friends?  I don't want it to be weird--and neither does your other friend who also doesn't want to hear your very strong opinions.

Love,
Mary
(Here's a follow-up to this post.)
**Ok, so while I was in the middle of blogging this, I was looking up a picture to put on the post.  As it turns out, I just stumbled upon one of the funniest parenting blogs I've ever read.  Check it out.  Oh, and here's the picture I wanted to share (I got it from their site.):

#tbt One Year Ago

It was one year ago that I started off the day nursing my baby for, what I didn't know, would be the last time.

For two weeks prior I had been having weird pains in my lungs and severe headaches.  I took headache medicine and assumed it would just work itself out.  However, the night of July 17, my "lung pain" (chest pain) had become so severe that I could not get a deep breathe and was in tears trying to get to sleep because I knew my dear sweet baby would be up in the morning with or without me having a good night sleep.  By the grace of God I was able to fall asleep with the promise to my husband that I would call the doctor in the morning.

July, 18, 2012 I called my primary care physician to make an appointment about my chest pain and trouble breathing--words that a PCP practically sound the alarm for (as they should.)  They directed me to the ER and suggested going to the Good Samaritan location because it would be less busy.  I arranged to drop off Sam for a few hours with my mom and drove myself to the ER.  I calmly checked myself in explaining my severe chest pain and trouble breathing.  I sat in the empty waiting room as they prepared my papers and then gave me my bracelet.

By this time I was nervous all the time, didn't sleep well, and had my current problems on top of it.  Since I was never diagnosed with PPD, I figured all of those symptoms were just coming to a head and I was about to implode. (As it turns out, the nervousness was a symptom of the condition I was about to be diagnosed with.)

I answered all the nurses questions, got an IV, and officially became a little scared.  Also, I was thinking about how my son was going to need to nurse soon, so I needed to get a diagnosis and head home.

I'm not really sure why I didn't understand that chest pain was kind of a big deal.  Now I know!

After more doctors came and asked similar questions and lots of other questions, and then the same exact questions over and over, they decided to run some tests.  (I texted my husband the above picture and suggested that maybe he come over from his office.)  I was at a teaching hospital, so I had the student doctor, then the resident, then the attending doctor all come in and talk to me.  I realized the severity when the attending came in.  (Lucky for me I had been watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix, so a lot of the things that happened to me or people I met weren't so much scary to me as they were amusing.  I felt like I was making my own episode of Grey's.)

I ended up having an EKG (electrocardiogram) also called an Echo.  They put a bunch of stickers on my chest to monitor things, then a nice tech lady came in and did a sort of ultrasound around my heart.  I also had an x-ray and a few more tests, one of which included a CT scan (or a CAT scan.)  That was the test that made me thinking I really must be filming an episode of a hospital tv show!

Finally it was determined that there was a thick layer of fluid around my heart that was causing the pressure.  This is called Pericarditis or also a Pericardial effusion.  The doctors used the terms interchangeably.   One doctor (I think the eager resident) suggested extracting the fluid by jabbing a giant needle in my chest.  Thankfully, the attending had a less-invasive solution!!!

The doctors went ahead and admitted me to stay overnight in the hospital for observation.  Because of the 'contrast' they gave me during the CT scan and some other drugs that had been pumped into me by that time, I was instructed to pump and dump my milk for the time being.  It would take 48 hours until my milk would be safe for Sammy.

What!?  Overnight?  Pump and dump!?  This was suppose to be a quick trip to the doctor and back home.  I guess I was wrong.  I talked to my mom and told her where she could find a bottle and the formula that had been mailed to me for free from the formula companies that I had saved "just in case."  If ever there was a "just in case" time, this was it!

I had my family praying for me and by this time my husband had come to stay and my dear friend was kind enough to bring me an overnight bag of clothes and deodorant, etc.   While Lee J got Sam settled in at home for his first night away from his parents and without nursing, I got settled in at the hospital.

The next day the doctors told me my options.  I was offered the option of taking ibuprofen in high doses to bring down the inflammation.  This would allow me to continue breastfeeding, but was not a sure thing solution.  Then I was offered a drug that had been in some case studies that gave me a 90% chance of the inflammation not returning, however I wouldn't be allowed to nurse Sam while I took the medicine for 3 months.

After some ignorant comments about breastfeeding from the doctors (that were probably said to make me feel like a good mom, no matter what my choice was,) and some praying and thinking, my husband and I decided I should take the second drug.  This choice also meant I was choosing (sort of) to stop breastfeeding.  It was a tough decision, but ultimately my long term health outweighed Sam receiving breast milk.  

I was released from the hospital on Thursday and our family hopped in the mini van with Lee J's family and drove to the beach in Flordia on Friday night...a detail I decided not to share with the doctors.  I figured relaxing at the beach was a great option for recovery anyway.

Weening Sam definitely didn't happen the way I had planned it, but most things don't go according to our plans, do they?  I'm thankful to have been able to breastfeed him for the 6+ months I was able to!

I'm thankful that a year later I am feeling healthy and strong and that my kid is well-grown and happy as ever (most of the time!) 

That's my #throwbackthursday story, what's yours!?   

...more on toddler food

Oh my gosh, so recently we've started having oatmeal for breakfast and I wish I had done this much earlier!  I feel much better about filling his belly with oats that fluffy bread (add oatmeal to the list!)  I should have taken the que from my older, wiser sister a long time ago!  Her daughter is a year and a week older than Sam so I tend to look to them to see what's coming down the pike!

When I wrote the previous entry about feeding a toothless toddler, I thought of three more things I wanted to share with you, but now I can only remember two of them.  Bummer.  But the two things are still good, so get excited!

1. The snack cup pictured above.  It's seriously awesome.  My toddler is such a grazer (like his parents.)  However, we also have a dog, so if I leave out snacks for him, they will last about 1.3 seconds before being gobbled up by our pup.  I can put so many snacks in here and Sam has access, but Truck (our dog) does not!  Life-changing.  We got them at the grocery store, they're not hard to find.  They usually come in a 2-pack.
2. The Weelicious cookbook. The author has a VERY successful blog (so much so, that she wrote a book.) It was so helpful to me!  Up until we got the book (which was around 15 months old for our son,) we were still feeding him in the high chair in our kitchen floor--not at the table.  After reading a lot of the introduction to the book, we moved him to the table, which I love.  It's a little more work as far as clean up, but he is gaining social skills, a sense of order for meal time, and is becoming a champ at using utensils (which I wasn't even giving him before!)
   
   Some of you may think I'm foolish for buying the cookbook because there is free access to almost every recipe on weelicious.com, but I really love having a physical book.  Plus, I really hate the idea of dragging my laptop into the kitchen and risking its demise with one careless mistake.
   
   This book gave me such a great grasp on how to feed my boy and how to keep him from learning bad habits like requesting a second meal and turning his nose up at the first one offered.  Seriously, check it out (maybe even, just from your local library!)

feeding a toothless toddler

Once we made it through the very trying first year of our son's life things got significantly easier.

But to quote Elizabethtown, "if it wasn't this... it'd be something else."

With most families this would most likely be teething.  But not for our family!

At 17 and a half months, our son's 5th tooth just arrived.  His first two emerged at 11 months, second two at around 14 or 15 months, and just yesterday I noticed a first year molar popping through.  Crazy kid!

So what is it that wears us out, you ask?  Feeding a toothless toddler!  While he manages great with a lot of foods, we still have to be cautious of the foods we present him since he has the ravenous appetite of an ever-moving toddler, but the gums of a 5 month old.

It's been work trying to figure out what fills up this sweet boy's belly, so that's why I want to share some ideas with you in hopes that you don't have to do so much brain storming!

First I should say, we do our best to avoid a whole lot of processed foods, but we're also realistic, on a budget, and on the go a lot of the time (and sometimes just down-right lazy) which makes steaming asparagus and preparing quinoa casseroles often out of the question.

I think about food in these catagories:  protein, veggies/fruits, grains/fiber, other carbs, & snacks. I don't give dairy its own category because we still give him cups of milk and he gets calcium through other foods and in proteins he gets throughout the day.
I should also add that at around 9 months or so, my son only let grandma spoon feed him and when he was home with us it was finger foods only (or getting a baby spoon swatted away and having mashed anything splattered on our carpet.)

Proteins:

• ground meat (beef/turkey) sometimes in a red sauce
• canned beans (organic/regular) strained and pinched to help avoid a chocking hazard
     black beans, kidney beans, navy bean
• hummus (or canned chick peas, but they don't digest as well since they're not fully chewed)
• peanut butter (or other nut butters) 
• eggs (scrambled or boiled)
• yogurt
• cheese

   
Veggies/Fruits:

• frozen peas/carrots (great for sore gums)
• canned peas/carrots
• chopped green beans
• sauteed chopped squash and zucchini
• microwaved sweet potato (cooled and scooped out)
• occasionally things like veggie straws or veggie puffs (like Gerber graduate snacks, but b/c of the preservatives, additives, sugar, etc, we try to keep these to a minimum)
•  canned fruit that is packed in 100% juice or water and not light or heavy syrup, our go-tos are pears, peaches, and mandarin oranges 
• bananas--i had given up on these b/c my son would examine the pieces and then throw them on the floor, recently i tried giving him a whole pealed banana and he scarfed it down!  Go figure!?
• grapes (I feel obligated to say cut these in half, however, my son does great with whole ones along as I'm constantly supervising him) 
• apple sauce jars, cups, and squeeze pouches, we love them all! (The gogo squeez are usually the most economical.  The package says for 3+ years but it seems that is due to the small cap, so if you don't give the small cap to your child, you should be good to go.)
• blueberries (These are an absolute favorite food!  As pictured above, the frozen ones can be a bit messy!)

Grains/Fiber:

• whole wheat Chex cereal
• whole wheat or multi-grain bread
• whole wheat cinnamon raisin bread or English muffins (toasted or not)
• pita chips
• matzah bread/crackers (with a dip like hummus)
• whole grain Goldfish (I know these are not as healthy as they sound, but they're better than the regular ones and a mom has to have some go-to snacks!)
• whole grain pasta (including mac and cheese)

 Other Carbs + Snack Foods:
       This is my least favorite category because I know there is the least nutrition in these, but it's also unrealistic for use to never have snack food that fills us up and is easy to prepare.

• crackers (Ritz, Saltines, Triscuits)
• pretzels
• puffs
• yogurt melts (There are dairy free ones at Target that are rice-based)

As far as beverages, our son usually drinks only milk and water with the occasional watered down juice.  He also rarely has desserts.  I don't see a reason to expose him to them since he doesn't even know he's missing out on anything at this point.

My mind is already reeling with more tips and strategies that have worked for us, but I will save those for another day!  Hope this provides some guidance for you in feeding your toothless toddler!

Are there any awesome foods I left off the list!?

"i've never" with a twist

You know the game "I've never" right?  You say something you've never done (usually in a new group of people) and then the people that have done that thing have some kind of response.  Upon googling it, it looks like the most common 'something' is everyone rushing to find a new seat who has done the thing the "it" person has never done.  Resulting in the "it" person rushing to a seat and the new "it" being the person who didn't grab a new seat quick enough.  Got it?

I'd like to play a similar game with you--and by game, I really mean make a list.  I'd like to make a list with you.  I mean, that's kind of like a game, right? 

The idea goes like this: Pre-baby I said several things about parenthood that usually started, "I'll never [...] when I have kids!" and now I just look back and giggle at all the things I've done to survive parenthood that I never thought I would do.

I'll get the list going and I want your help adding to it.  I'll add your "I'll nevers" to the list with your name or initials and we can all laugh together.  Leave yours in the comments (or maybe even on FB and I'll do my best to add them all!) 

Here's the only rules:  Be nice!  And no judging.  Just because someone else does something one way doesn't mean the way you're choosing to do it is wrong.

1. I'll never let my kids have messy snacks in the car.  -Mary
2. I'll never let my baby sleep in my bed.  -Mary
3. I swore I wouldn't be the mom to upload pics of her kid all the time. -Whitney
4. I said I wouldn't dress her in all pink (I'm getting better about accepting pink into my life). -Whitney
5. I will never give my baby cookies. -Whitney
6. I will never use my iPhone as a distraction for my baby/toddler while out shopping, at a restaurant, etc. -Hannah
7. I will never take my baby to daycare on the days I'm not working. -Whit's friend
8. I will never let my child eat off the floor. -Whit's friend
9. I will never let my child go in public with dirty clothes &/or hair not done. Whit's friend
10. I'll never be quiet during nap time. She'll just have to sleep through it. -Sarah Q
11. I'll never change my daughter's diaper on the display patio furniture in the middle of Sears. -Kelly B
12.